Salam world.
Today is a big day in my life and it will always be remembered by me. Right now I am very disturbed and cant even think properly. I am trying very hard to keep control of myself but if I go around breaking things and shouting at my parents, don't be surprised.
I have always felt that I have the freedom to write what I feel, to express my opinion, to do what I want but today I am not sure of any of it. So as I write, it is a grave disappointment to say that I write "carefully", wondering what would happen if nay of my family members read it. My censor mode is on. And till I am 18, it aint going off. the rebel has surrendered. the war is over. the parents have won. children are left behind, all their feelings crushed, they are supposed to keep their thoughts to themselves even if their matters are being discussed.
But no, what goes on in my heart those wonderful thoughts and dreams can not be dumped. Yes, I am surrendering but this, my dear readers, is not a permanent surrender. I will rise again, once I am 18, I will rebel again. and that time, I wont take no for an answer. if its a no, i will runaway from my home. I'll get a part time job and earn at least enough to support myself. I will continue to study. And I will continue to dream. no one, no force in this entire world can keep me from dreaming. and even now, I dream but I stay quiet about my dreams. from this day, I will act as robot for the next 3 years, doing what my parents say, being the perfect child. but then, once these three fucking years are over, I will rise again. I will fulfill my dreams and no one will be able to stop me.
so now, even though it might seem to you that I have surrendered, its all for a greater cause. I am strong and now that is the worst situation ever, I have to try my best to be strong and to stop my dreams for being crushed because once I am through this, i shall have my reward.
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